September

by September

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1.
03:12
2.
02:59
3.
4.

credits

released September 22, 2014

Originally self-released by September in September 2014
septembermd.bandcamp.com

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September Maryland

September is:
Bruce Ricci III

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Track Name: Sunlight
If only you looked at it in the same way
that I tried to make you see,
but you went and threw it away
and it was okay as long as you were happy.

but then that leaves me being broken and cold,
so lost and alone, well that's fine i guess ill find somewhere to go
I'll travel roads I swore i'd never see me go
ill drink until the bottles empty
till the smoke that I inhale can finally be exhaled freely

just to let the ringing stop

I only suppressed the feeling of feeling anything at all
rather than teaching myself to let go of what used to make me fall
because the thought of being alone completely consumes me,
with no light for me to see
no goal for me to reach.
an impossibility.

And if I reach that light and you talk to me again
we can talk about our lives and all the wasted time we spent
and how much we fucked up and missed each other over the summer
but it doesn't matter cause at least we'll have each other

If only you looked at it in the same way
but i'm sure you'll find someone that'll stay,
someone worth your time of day
and you'll live long and happy.
because that's all I want to see
is one of us happy,
I hope you're happier than me
Cause that's all i wanna see, is you smiling.

We can get married by the ocean
cause it compliments your eyes
and the way your hair shines in the sunlight
but no one knows how it looks in the dim light
with you staring down at me saying,
"everything feels so right."
Track Name: Fall Asleep
I just ask myself whats wrong with me.
I wonder what you're starting to see differently in me,
That's causing you to leave me as if I am nothing.
Maybe I'm just over-thinking, 'cause you assure me i'm something.

We're just friends.

And I guess that's okay because you notice my existence
And I was thankful that you did to begin with
Your hand in mine was all I ever needed to get by
But it seemed you were just trying to protect your own heart and mind
Maybe you just wanted to get by in life
And you don't really care if you leave anyone behind
But I'm not a broken tool
So use me till I die

And I will never leave, though you want me to
In case you ever need someone to fall into
But you dont have the time for me and you made me aware.
So we'll stay friends and Ill move on because I'm tired of waiting
The last time I did it left me physically bleeding.

And I don't want to go back to being that boy
I grew up from all of that, but I've yet to find joy
In little things like falling asleep just to dream of you
Instead wake up to you telling me you don't know what to do.

Maybe you didn't want a song, or a poem, or a rhyme.
But I only feel completely honest when I'm writing these lines.
My heart yells at me "why aren't you putting up a fight?
This is why you lose everything," and I tell him "You're right."
Track Name: Three Small Words Have Always Kept Me Running
You could look at our love in so many different ways.
And all that I saw was that I was too afraid,
And you're so demanding, you always asked so much of me.
I will never be what you want, but i'll try my best to be the person you need.
I'd go day to day to see you happy,
To break my back and make ends meet.
Nothing is enough but I keep trying.
To see another smile, to keep myself from dying

Now I can't let go of the affection that I recieved,
In your bed those nights we lay and listened to the breeze.
And the rain how you loved to see it fall,
Your happiness is what I miss most of all.
Now Im screaming in my head so loud that I am humming
Those three small words that have always kept me running.
I was so scared to fall in love with you.
But I did.

Do you miss me on cold nights, When theres nothing to keep you warm?
Am I awake in your dreams? 'Cause I cannot seem to sleep anymore.
And I know it seem like such an impossibility,
Because I know the difference from my dreams and our reality.

Now those three words peirce my heart every time that I see
That someone else could fall in love the way you did with me.
And I feel like I've failed you if I couldn't get you to believe
That I tried so hard for us, I wanted to make you happy.

But all I am is just a faded memory.

A conversation piece, if you remember me at all,
'Cause I remember your loving eyes, and how your hair would fall
I would brush it all back behind your ears, and we would lay in the dark as I tell you all my fears,
And how all I ever wanted was a place to call home,
And in your arms was where I felt so safe from the cold.
Now im freezing in this bed, but I know I'm not alone,
Because the memory of you just wont let me go.
Track Name: Four Years Dead
Well I guess its been four years today since I've first felt acceptance
And a sense of trust and compassion
You didn't call it love but it felt like it,
At least every time since then that I felt it,
That's how one would describes it
-
A selfless hero is what I wanted you to see
But just a reckless fool is all that I turn out to be
Because I was wrecking myself just to make you happy
I didn't care if I was hurting, as long as you're smiling
-
Well they all say the sky is the limit, my heads in the clouds
And I'm floating in the vacancy of space where my heart should be.
Constantly playing scenarios in my head of what could have been,
Stop, rewind, repeat, stop, step back, just let me leave.
-
The only thing that I seem to have left I can hold close to me
Are now nothing but a faded memory,
The reason why I poison myself
With alcohol and cigarettes,
Whatever there is to kill me without you worrying.
-
And its nights like these when I've had too much to drink,
That I start to miss having a god to believe in.
Something other than poison that slurs my words and blurs my vision
Just something to listen when I need to cave in.
-
And I miss those nights
When you told me
That I have a reason to be alive
And I miss those nights
You stayed up with me
Just so I could make it through another night.