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/Sleep Patterns

by September

/
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1.
/Passion 03:19
I waste a lot of time trying to make things change And wondering why I still feel it's necessary for me to stay I spent so much time learning how to let go of dead weight That I only got stuck and grew used to the pain - Why I never express myself openly is something they'll never get I don't hate the world, I just haven't found a reason to love it yet And when any light of hope shines in my direction I'll let it in, but I know that I don't deserve it. - Everything eventually dies, and the pain will subside But until then coping is just a fraying rope tied around my throat And it'll either kill me or set me free Whatever the outcome may be I'll accept it completely. - Whenever you want to come home, I'll accept you completely. - And I don't think ill love someone else the same For now everything is temporary, another way to feel relieved And I don't think that I'll ever truly be happy But one day I'll see clearly, and ill find my peace.
2.
/Second Best 03:21
and today its beginning to feel a lot less like depression and a little more like moving on even with trees dying and a cold breeze rising, I can still look up to the sun something not quite as bright and beautiful as your eyes if i remember, but its close enough to keep me warm and make me feel at home like our inside jokes had once done. So if need be and you need me to go if you dont want to be the smile on my face and if you can't stand to see me when I'm low then why try anymore. because life as weird as it seems likes to beat me down and one day it'll be the only thing that'll hold me under til I drown collapsing my lungs like when you would lay on me testing the structural integrity of my sunken in chest and it's not much but its second best to feeling you on my skin again. and late night walks would be the same the warm breeze after summer rain blowing through my hair like your fingers would, never the same, but second best. to feeling you on my skin again. and today its beginning to feel a lot more like depression and a little less like feeling you again. because I can't sleep very well with the reminder that you're not coming home after everything you said, like I wasnt meant to believe those short words that meant so much to me and that bracelet you made me for my birthday I left it in Ohio with my pain and misery but it likes to give me a visit from time to time and let me know that I'm still not fine. while I cry myself to sleep almost every night. trying to find sense in why this just doesn't feel right with my hands empty and my chest still sinking in, wishing it would crush me you've already taken away everything that made me feel like living
3.
4.
i keep losing sleep on couches and floors because I hate laying in this bed wishing for so much more than the growing pain that formed in my chest and my head but expected nothing less than a few reassuring words and the sound of bitter resentment in your voice knowing I couldn't do anything more for us because it was always your choice. It was always your choice and this is the second time you came into my life wanting to build something from the ground up after knocking down my walls and in an expected turn of events you left me out in the open as if i didn't matter to you at all. And now I just want to feel the air in my lungs again and the heart beating in my chest but that was taken the moment you drove back down south to your home near the beach with a view almost as beautiful as you. And in the 3 seconds between you letting go of that last kiss and us saying our goodbyes I was ready to believe it would be the last time I'd ever held you. And I was right. And I heard you felt so sorry but you never told me specifically and all I could use now is an apology but you're too busy lost in his sheets and what was so wrong with me that I couldn't get you to stay you filled me with joy and I cherished that every day at least I was able to tell you goodbye this time remember when you promised me that there would never be a last time? well where are you now cause I need you here by my side I guess everything I wanted to believe so terribly bad was just a lie and everything thing you said that used to make me feel alive just makes me feel dead I just want to see one of us happy I know youre happier than me
5.
/1839 03:43
I've been wanting to say these things for a year now But I'm holding my breath in with 1839's ever since you left that day I've been wasting so much time with words on the tip of my tongue waiting for your ears to listen waiting for us to fall all over again waiting for your hand to tie itself with mine again Well I want to know. if you feel the same way If you're thinking of me i'm playing the same old day in my head all over again Well I want to know. Will we ever lay under the stars again? And watch the trains pass behind my house I'm wishing on a star, that even though you're so far I want you to know you have my heart I want you to know.

about

Late nights, sad songs.

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released December 16, 2014

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September Maryland

September is:
Bruce Ricci III

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