/Sleep Patterns

by September

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Late nights, sad songs.


released December 16, 2014



all rights reserved


September Maryland

September is:
Bruce Ricci III

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Track Name: /Passion
I waste a lot of time trying to make things change
And wondering why I still feel it's necessary for me to stay
I spent so much time learning how to let go of dead weight
That I only got stuck and grew used to the pain
Why I never express myself openly is something they'll never get
I don't hate the world, I just haven't found a reason to love it yet
And when any light of hope shines in my direction
I'll let it in, but I know that I don't deserve it.
Everything eventually dies, and the pain will subside
But until then coping is just a fraying rope tied around my throat
And it'll either kill me or set me free
Whatever the outcome may be I'll accept it completely.
Whenever you want to come home, I'll accept you completely.
And I don't think ill love someone else the same
For now everything is temporary, another way to feel relieved
And I don't think that I'll ever truly be happy
But one day I'll see clearly, and ill find my peace.
Track Name: /Second Best
and today its beginning to feel a lot less like depression
and a little more like moving on
even with trees dying and a cold breeze rising,
I can still look up to the sun
something not quite as bright and beautiful as your eyes
if i remember, but its close enough
to keep me warm and make me feel at home
like our inside jokes had once done.

So if need be and you need me to go
if you dont want to be the smile on my face
and if you can't stand to see me when I'm low
then why try anymore.
because life as weird as it seems likes to beat me down
and one day it'll be the only thing that'll hold me under til I drown
collapsing my lungs like when you would lay on me
testing the structural integrity of my sunken in chest
and it's not much but its second best
to feeling you on my skin again.
and late night walks would be the same
the warm breeze after summer rain
blowing through my hair like your fingers would,
never the same, but second best.
to feeling you on my skin again.

and today its beginning to feel a lot more like depression
and a little less like feeling you again.
because I can't sleep very well
with the reminder that you're not coming home
after everything you said,
like I wasnt meant to believe
those short words that meant so much to me

and that bracelet you made me for my birthday
I left it in Ohio with my pain and misery
but it likes to give me a visit from time to time
and let me know that I'm still not fine.
while I cry myself to sleep almost every night.
trying to find sense in why this just doesn't feel right

with my hands empty
and my chest still sinking in,
wishing it would crush me
you've already taken away everything
that made me feel like living
Track Name: /Expect Nothing Less
i keep losing sleep on couches and floors
because I hate laying in this bed
wishing for so much more
than the growing pain that formed in my chest and my head
but expected nothing less
than a few reassuring words
and the sound of bitter resentment in your voice
knowing I couldn't do anything more for us
because it was always your choice.

It was always your choice
and this is the second time
you came into my life
wanting to build something from the ground up
after knocking down my walls
and in an expected turn of events
you left me out in the open
as if i didn't matter to you at all.
And now I just want to feel the air in my lungs again
and the heart beating in my chest

but that was taken the moment
you drove back down south
to your home near the beach with
a view almost as beautiful as you.

And in the 3 seconds between
you letting go of that last kiss
and us saying our goodbyes
I was ready to believe it would be the last time I'd ever held you.
And I was right.

And I heard you felt so sorry
but you never told me specifically
and all I could use now is an apology
but you're too busy lost in his sheets

and what was so wrong with me
that I couldn't get you to stay
you filled me with joy
and I cherished that every day

at least I was able to tell you goodbye this time
remember when you promised me that there would never be a last time?
well where are you now cause I need you here by my side

I guess everything I wanted to believe so terribly bad was just a lie
and everything thing you said
that used to make me feel alive
just makes me feel dead

I just want to see one of us happy
I know youre happier than me
Track Name: /1839
I've been wanting to say these things for a year now
But I'm holding my breath in with 1839's
ever since you left that day
I've been wasting so much time
with words on the tip of my tongue waiting for your ears to listen
waiting for us to fall all over again
waiting for your hand to tie itself with mine again

Well I want to know.

if you feel the same way
If you're thinking of me
i'm playing the same old day
in my head all over again

Well I want to know.

Will we ever lay under the stars again?
And watch the trains pass behind my house
I'm wishing on a star, that even though you're so far
I want you to know you have my heart

I want you to know.