and today its beginning to feel a lot less like depression
and a little more like moving on
even with trees dying and a cold breeze rising,
I can still look up to the sun
something not quite as bright and beautiful as your eyes
if i remember, but its close enough
to keep me warm and make me feel at home
like our inside jokes had once done.

So if need be and you need me to go
if you dont want to be the smile on my face
and if you can't stand to see me when I'm low
then why try anymore.
because life as weird as it seems likes to beat me down
and one day it'll be the only thing that'll hold me under til I drown
collapsing my lungs like when you would lay on me
testing the structural integrity of my sunken in chest
and it's not much but its second best
to feeling you on my skin again.
and late night walks would be the same
the warm breeze after summer rain
blowing through my hair like your fingers would,
never the same, but second best.
to feeling you on my skin again.

and today its beginning to feel a lot more like depression
and a little less like feeling you again.
because I can't sleep very well
with the reminder that you're not coming home
after everything you said,
like I wasnt meant to believe
those short words that meant so much to me

and that bracelet you made me for my birthday
I left it in Ohio with my pain and misery
but it likes to give me a visit from time to time
and let me know that I'm still not fine.
while I cry myself to sleep almost every night.
trying to find sense in why this just doesn't feel right

with my hands empty
and my chest still sinking in,
wishing it would crush me
you've already taken away everything
that made me feel like living